I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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