Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
