She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize