I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just want to make out with him forever
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
