It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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