I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
