it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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