He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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