STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
