I can't watch pbs sober anymore
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize