Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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