ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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