And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
