we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
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I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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