Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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