Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
