problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
