honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
