Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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