I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
