Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize