I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
