Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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