I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
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He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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