Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
bring money and cleavage
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
