We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
