Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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