Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(318): View more from Louisiana

But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...

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(318): But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right... http://tfl.nu/e947

Replies (4) Good night (1198) Bad night (493)
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(305): View more from Florida

We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.

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(305): We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs. http://tfl.nu/e91l

Replies (14) Good night (3517) Bad night (719)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

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(301): I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you. http://tfl.nu/0isu

Replies (25) Good night (993) Bad night (2779)
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(518): View more from New York

Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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(518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l

Replies (17) Good night (5400) Bad night (1168)
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.

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(202): Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology. http://tfl.nu/sp8t

Replies (32) Good night (10052) Bad night (1182)
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(937): View more from Ohio

Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.

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(937): Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not. http://tfl.nu/7iqg

Replies (9) Good night (4419) Bad night (1305)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.

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(303): I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex. http://tfl.nu/3z60

Replies (20) Good night (1684) Bad night (4011)
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(972): View more from Texas

I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.

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(972): I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car. http://tfl.nu/qc2u

Replies (3) Good night (1115) Bad night (2441)
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.

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(715): So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room. http://tfl.nu/stph

Replies (4) Good night (1668) Bad night (822)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...

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(503): Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat... http://tfl.nu/b2lc

Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (1159)
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(515): View more from Iowa

I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?

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(515): I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king? http://tfl.nu/4eun

Replies (5) Good night (1312) Bad night (390)
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(226): View more from Ontario

I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.

(613): View more from Ontario

The fuck? Where?

(226): View more from Ontario

St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.

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(226): I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy. (613): The fuck? Where? (226): St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this. http://tfl.nu/bh0m

Replies (8) Good night (891) Bad night (325)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time

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(262): And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time http://tfl.nu/233l

Replies (0) Good night (612) Bad night (265)
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(816): View more from Missouri

I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.

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(816): I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine. http://tfl.nu/el1w

Replies (0) Good night (452) Bad night (255)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny

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(603): Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny http://tfl.nu/ui8a

Replies (4) Good night (763) Bad night (288)

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