Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(605): View more from South Dakota

was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.

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(205): View more from Alabama

Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.

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(573): View more from Missouri

My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.

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(503): View more from Oregon

well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back

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(807): View more from Ontario

Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath

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(212): View more from New York

Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?

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(503): View more from Oregon

I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon

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