Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
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i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
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I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"