was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
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he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
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I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon