Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Girls should come with a carfax report
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize