if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
