she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize