Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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