Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
