Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
