Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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