Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
