Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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