turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
