ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Randomize
