By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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