god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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