these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize