I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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