Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
