my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
