i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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