apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
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But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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