Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize