what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
