the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
so let's talk penis.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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