idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize