Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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