My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
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They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
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he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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