Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
