Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
