I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
