How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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