I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
ttyl tear gas
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
As shirtless as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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